The Path to Change

    Since June, every week is a new adventure for me. When I was attending college, there was a weekly routine; when I was working any job, despite the newish experiences in the environment, it was still close to a routine. This summer has been the opposite. Situations present themselves in such various shapes and sizes, even if they do resemble a past experience—it’s in a completely new environment, with unique characters. This week, I’ve been bashed with the choice between fear and love.

    Bill Hicks talks about life as a ride. Read the dialogue below or click here to watch the 2 minute video about it.

The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly colored, and it's very loud. And it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question, “Is this real? Or is this just a ride?” And other people have remembered, they come back to us. They say, “Hey! Don't worry. Don't be afraid, ever, because... it's just a ride.” .....And we kill those people. “Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride! Shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real!” It’s just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who tell us that; you ever notice that? And let the demons run amuck? But it doesn’t matter, because… it’s just a ride. We can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings or money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

    I’ve been very mindful about the conspicuous interactions I have had with people this week, at the circus, in a store, on the street, etc; whether to respond with fear or love. I don’t know if it’s tactful for me to openly talk about a specific situation involving other people here, so I’ll keep it vague; the message should still be clear. Someone recently ignited a chain reaction of terrible events in the social lives of those involved, as well as voiced their disdain for me while I was on the sidelines. It was like watching something on par with a toxic relationship I was in years ago that broke me down for a while (but thankfully learned and healed from it). I easily could have responded with fear, putting up my defenses and catapulting anger and hurtful words back at the person. Or simply ignored the person and run away from it, letting them stew in the mess that they created. Fight or flight: the fear response. But what would that accomplish? You can’t put out a fire by throwing on more fire, or leaving it to go out by itself. Instead, I waited until the person calmed down a bit and we had a civil conversation, breaking down all of what happened into simple, explainable concepts. The conversation ended with ‘thank you’ and ‘I wish you well’ words. Is this whole situation fixed? Not even close. But there was more progress in that one conversation than any other response would have made.

     Similarly, I've been working a lot with a group of people in this circus tribe who hardly speak English. When they're yelling at each other in Spanish. I can't tell if they're angry, excited, joking, or what. To me, it's just random noises flapping out of their mouths. I can't deny that the unknown elicits a fear reaction in my mind. Especially if they're lobbing those noises at me. My course of action is respond with either fear or love. And I think you know what the more amicable option is.

    The point of this is to practice mindfulness and acknowledge your responses to everything. If we are capable of “free will,” then it’s all a choice to respond to anything with either fear or love. Fear is a complex process in the brain. HowStuffWorks describes it like this:

• Thalamus - decides where to send incoming sensory data (from eyes, ears, mouth, skin)
• Sensory cortex - interprets sensory data
• Hippocampus - stores and retrieves conscious memories; processes sets of stimuli to establish context
• Amygdala - decodes emotions; determines possible threat; stores fear memories
• Hypothalamus - activates "fight or flight" response

The process of creating fear takes place in the brain and is entirely unconscious. There are two paths involved in the fear response: The low road is quick and messy, while the high road takes more time and delivers a more precise interpretation of events. Both processes are happening simultaneously.

The idea behind the low road is "take no chances." If the front door to your home is suddenly knocking against the frame, it could be the wind. It could also be a burglar trying to get in. It's far less dangerous to assume it's a burglar and have it turn out to be the wind than to assume it's the wind and have it turn out to be a burglar. The low road shoots first and asks questions later.

The high road is much more thoughtful. While the low road is initiating the fear response just in case, the high road is considering all of the options. Is it a burglar, or is it the wind?

    Wookiefoot nails it once again: "The xenophobia. The failing mental health. A new dystopia of everybody for themselves. The terrorized will terrorize and cycle on until we rise up in our love. Remember, only fear fear itself."

    Contemplate all the hype over police brutality. Are officers choosing the high road or the low road? Taking the high road requires love. It requires considering another person as something other than dangerous. Is the job of police to act on fear? Shoot now, ask questions later? What about the foreigner who is speaking a different language in front of you? Should you be afraid, or love your brother/sister of this world? And if you chose love, every time, all the time, this ride of life would be a lot less scary. And one could say, “Yeah, well utopian world peace will never happen, so my fear response is justified.” So consider this: Peace is not a destination; it's the road that we walk.

Remember how beautiful your mind really is. You can control it simply by observing it. And also remember:  It's just a ride.