The Path to Change

    There’s something special about having a person in your life that has been there from a very young age. I only have family that fall into that category; most of my friends have drifted apart over the years, as I’m not the best with keeping in touch after I or they move away. Life happens, and I understand that; I’m not bitter about the friends and lovers that have moved on and cut ties.

    There’s only one exception to my inability to hang onto friends from my childhood: a friend from grade school by the name of Sarah.  Sarah and I don’t have much in common anymore, except for the love of life and laughter. We go years without seeing each other, with the occasional thumbs up on Facebook, and then one of us sends a message to the other saying, “I’m in your area!” and we reconnect immediately, picking up right where we left off and catching each other up, often watching scary movies like we did in our younger days or finding a place to go swimming. This friend has seen me at some of the lowest times in my life, from family struggles to relationship problems to my current spiritual confusion. She always listens with full attention and an open heart, sending me away with hugs and advice to hold me over until our next adventure. She is the epitome of a great friend, regardless of how often we take the chance to talk with one another. I can’t help but think of a song by Eddie Vedder that sings, “I’m a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love. Some folks just have one, yeah others they got none.”  I may be disheartened at times in my life, feeling so alone and out of touch with people and the world, but I am fortunate to have people that I can call any time and [re]connect with whether I’m down or up.

    The most recent time I met with Sarah was this week when I made a detour in my travels to see her new life as a married school teacher in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Generous as always, she walked with me (yes, she lives within walking distance) to Lambeau Field football stadium, home of the Packers; we also took kayaks out to Green Bay and got to paddle around Lake Michigan, stopping on a beach to enjoy the warm water and soft sand. She wrote me a letter for my departure, and made a point to tell me that I shouldn’t be so worried about saving the world, that others are here to help. She’s right too; the last few years I’ve struggled so much with taking on all these feelings of responsibility to be the one to fix every big issue of the world. She said, “Some questions aren’t meant to be answered,” and as much as my mind wants to refute that, my heart tells me she has a point. Mark Murphy of Wookiefoot would agree too. “You will rise, and you will fall. And the things that come at you, you can’t fight them all.”

    My next two destinations involve seeing other old friends in my life; both of whom I met online years ago through video games, namely the zombie-shooting game I’ve spent over 1,500 hours of my life playing, Left for Dead 2. The first lives in Missouri, which is where I’m headed after the Portal Music Festival in Hillsboro, WI (which I plan to enjoy with some new-ish friends I met at a Modest Mouse concert back home in Moorhead). This friend in Missouri and I have been great friends throughout college and we have both seen each other’s highs and lows. It will be great to catch up and see how much we’ve grown personally in the last several years.  The destination after that is in Pennsylvania, where I’ll get to meet my very first Steam friend (Steam is an online gaming platform and community). This person befriended me when I was a freshman in college and a novice at the L4D2 game, defending me as a “white knight” while other players pummeled me with insults for not knowing the best game strategies. Since then, we’ve talked sporadically as the years passed, and as our lives have twisted and turned I never felt judged or looked down upon for my flaws (except for the plethora of jokes made at my Midwest “accent”). It will be great to continue my journey and visit old friends along the way, if only for the reminder of another Wookiefoot quote, “We may not have it all together, but together we could have it all.”

    In Pennsylvania, I've found another WWOOF location to settle down in for a few weeks. It may very well turn into a month or a few though, because it sounds just as incredible as the last place. The owners are environmentalists, bicyclist, AND artists. More information to come upon my arrival in PA.